Every Death in New Doctor Who (Series 1-4)

A friend of mine is currently fronting a kid’s show on Cbeebies called Andy’s Wild Adventures where he and a cat visit far off regions of the world and interface from stolen footage from Planet Earth and Blue Planet. It’s really very good – particularly if you have a child you want to entertain and you should take a look. Much like Andy’s Wild Adventures, Doctor Who is a kid’s programme. Unlike Andy’s Wild Adventures Simon Pegg is obliterated, Big Brother Contestants are disintegrated and exposed to deep space, cats fall great distances, the secretary for Defence gets skinned, Werewolves are attacked by Ninjas, innocent people are possessed and / or absorbed and subsequently killed, Shakespearean actors heamorrage, scarecrows get gunned down, 60 Million people are slaughtered, Kylie Minogue commits suicide, a fish man tragically drowns in mud, surburbanites are burned alive, Davros explodes, Victorian gravediggers are electrocuted and a bus flies.

Nobody is killed by the flying bus. But I do remember there were people shooting at it. And I wonder sometimes while people watch Doctor Who….

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Coming in on a Stranger Tide – Pirates of the Caribbean 4

Okay – I’m the first to admit this is getting out of hand following the Thor and Arkham Asylum trailers this week but it turns out Disney and Bruckheimer want a sniff at the Christmas pie by previewing their wares on the run up to Christmas with this little number: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

A lot points towards a return to form with Bloom and Knightley out of the picture, allowing this picture to be nicely populated with cutthroats, villains and curs. The old favourites Captain Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbossa are present and correct and the title suggests that this episode is based on Tim Power’s cracking swashbuckling fantasy novel ‘On Stranger Tides’ much like its previous incarnation ‘Curse of the Black Pearl’ was enhanced by a resurrected script from Lucasarts epically ludicrous ‘Secret of Monkey Island’. Throw in a sultry foil / love interest in the form of a very unexpected movie star and Ian McShane of Deadwood fame chewing on the quarterdeck as Black Beard and I’d say this looks like a return to form worth looking forward to.

‘Load up the yardarm lads – there be a rebooting franchise returning to form on the Horizon.’

Research by Lee Ravitz.