An Alternative World Cup Anthem by The Free Kicks

I’d be lying if I said that football was exactly my sport, none of the participants have wheels and there’s nary a V6 in sight. However, once every 4 years I join thousands of others just like me by watching a couple of preview shows, pretending I now understand every aspect of the game and picking a team to support post quarter finals (a decision usually based largely on shirt colour).

One thing that I remain an unabashed fan of is a good world cup anthem and Cambridge band The Free Kicks have put together a cracker that I thought I’d share here. The Free Kicks are made up of members of several Cambridge artists including our old friends Fred’s House and Josh Broadstone, star of some of Jim and I’s short films. As you might imagine with that combo it’s very silly and stupidly catchy. Enjoy!

Thanks to everyone who has bought Moon in recent weeks. Stay tuned for updates on Moon 3.

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The Mad Tree – A Ghost Story In Ten Silly Minutes

 

Those of you who follow me on twitter will know that my writing partner, Jim Eaton and I have been working on a new short film over the past couple of months. Well here it is.

The Mad Tree is our homage to the ghost stories of M. R. James, with a little bit of our own silliness plugged in for good measure. It is the story of Mr Darcy Woodwind, a writer from London who falls afoul of a malevolent shrub. No real departure from our usual brand of daftness then.

The film is our latest attempt to inflict ourselves upon the 2 Days Later Horror festival. It’s the 10th anniversary of the event so it’d be really lovely if we get picked for the screening. I shall keep you posted on how things go.

As is often the way the edit was a total pain in the bum and after blowing a firewire port and having to run all over London, searching for someone who could capture the footage, I finally wrapped the edit up at 6AM the following morning. As a reward we’ve taken this week off from writing but we’ll be back into it after the weekend. The subject of the new project…radio. More soon.

As a final side note. It’s worth mentioning that Jack Gavin (who plays the lead role in this film as well as several of our other projects) is getting married today. Our best Bunker wishes to him and his lovely wife-to-be.

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The Solar System is Doomed and so are you

XKCD’s Randall Munroe’s piece on the utter futility of getting up in the morning (or indeed watching fatuous entertainment news shows) really gets into the guts of what it’s like in the endless velvet nothingness of existence. In a universe made almost entirely of the absence of something, punctuated with violent and cataclysmic birthing pools of giant Hydrogen atomic balls, firing deadly radiation everywhere and nuturing only a very tiny number of miniscule globules of detritus, all of which are unlikely to be able to sustain the absurdly specific requirements of our fragile and ultimately rapidly aging forms, frankly the end (while maybe not nigh) is bloody obvious.Best to simply shrug and resign your ancestors to the cold and lonely death in open space or the fiery annihaltion of a Supernova.

Remember: Between the sky and the ground and sea is our Fishbowl. We are the fish. Good luck out there people.

(Unless we redesign ourselves like the first Guardians of the Galaxy – that’d be awesome).

Moon’s Alternative Olympics: Crazy Mishaps!!

7 years ago, in a moment of significant success that united the nation in a day of celebration, we beat the French to something they really wanted and secured the Olympics. When the streamers had fallen to the ground we realised we’d just signed up to the biggest economic, transportational, security and cultural nightmare in the world. Any city in the world would succeed in that time surely – however at the time we were still trying to finish Wembley – and that was half a decade late – the equivalent of deciding to redevelop your entire house having failed to finish the bathroom. However, undeterred by bombs, riots and the biggest recession to hit since the 30s, the proud… um… Polish and Australian contractors of London got the work done. To incredible results as seen in the mind blowing opening ceremony that even the most curmudgeonly Daily Mail reader had to concede was a success. Let it all begin – Jeremy Hunt – take it away….

Unabated, we rolled on – only to allow a GCSE student who picked history to be in charge of the Flag machine for the North Korea football match, showing them their greatest enemies flag instead of their own!! Nothing makes you want to watch an Olympics more than the impending potential of Nuclear War brought on by a work experience kid volunteering to press the flag button.

Then of course there was the opening ceremony in which a random volunteer opted to join the main procession and the Queen jumped out of a Helicopter (which put her in a really foul mood). 1200 Pigeons were incinerated in the all-consuming firework display launched at the end of the ceremony – though I can confirm you could see the fireworks on the underbelly of the imposing cloud cover that had descended on London after a divine week of sunshine.

One more for luck!!

Then of course there was Boris Johnson… trying to keep the party going. Trying to get himself down a zip line in Victoria park in front of a crowd of onlookers. His arrival at the end of the zip line delayed as he slid to an awkward halt. Like a baby polar bear covered in Union Jacks and an ill-fitting suit hanging from a washing line. There really is nothing more English…

In spite all of this and the absence of any discernable business for any major attractions in London because 1. They put on the biggest show in the world on 12 miles down the road and 2. They very clearly told everybody to stay at home in case the trains fell apart, it’s all going really well. This has abstractly caused many people to spend more time with their families and opened up loads of seat space on any London commute and we’re scoring some serious medals (read: beating the French). All things considered – so far it’s been a great Olympics!!

Star Wars: The Star Wars That I Used to Know Music Video

Everybody loves a bit of Gotye’s ‘Somebody I Used to Know’ but here’s an alternative that George Lucas might not want to pay attention to. This great spoof uses a blend of both films and music video and speaks for a good ol’ section of the adult population that remember the first time a Star Destroyer appeared chasing a Frontier Runner in 1977.

Lego Batman 2 Trailer

Steel yourselves for a giggle fit because the launch of Lego Batman 2 comes with a suitably funny launch trailer. The free roaming sequel to the caped crusader’s first foray into the world of bricks promises more heroes, more villains and even more silliness and the trailer certainly delivers on that. Also, we finally get to see what it looks like when the Batmobile looses a wheel and the Joker gets away.

Lego Batman 2 is out now.

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An Ode to Trollin’! : Thank you Hater! Wins The Internet Today!*

This little number caught my attention earlier today and I’d lined it up for later on in the week until I saw that our resident writer Dan’s very own web savvy (and frankly cooler) brother had clocked it too I took it as a sign to post up and frankly ride the anti-trollin’ wagon.

The musical video by Clever Pie and Isabel Fey tackles the seedy underbelly of frustrated illiteracy on the web. It doesn’t quite tackle the Freudian nightmare suggested by the seemingly unstoppable bubbling up of religious extremism, bigotry and bad spelling that apparently underpins society but is held at bay because we can see each other, but it’s very funny and well aimed. And features a wanking gibbon and a Samba Interlude. Which always gets a thumb up from us.

Cnuts.

Terrifying Justin Bieber ‘Fan’ Video best thing on web today / this week / this year..

In a fit of unlikely manipulation of enamoured floppy hair lovers, the media biscuit du jour, Mr Justin Bieber (or the vilalinous puppet masters that manipulate the bewildered living child ThunderBird) have come up with another worryingly deviant way of reducing teenage girls self esteem – coming up with a fabaroo contest that furthers Bieber’s nauseating influence while getting fans to do all the work! All the entrants have to do is sing along to Mr Beiber’s song ‘Boyfriend’ and the winning entries will be featured in Bieber’s upcoming NBC Special.

Harmless enough stuff – until this unnamed entrant offered this terrifyingly intimidating version in a brilliantly media savvy and entertainingly alarming way. Rather than warble along earnestly in the hope that the hopeless Bieber might see it and ask them out in the way that so many other entrants have – this entrant has made it clear exactly what sort of girlfriend Beiber really needs. Humorously, not a million miles from the psychology of the music industry execs that spawned the gormless child beast on us all.

The best part is it’ll get twice as many hits as Bieber’s no doubt vacuous NBC Special but will never appear in it – causing pop culture driven execs heads to potentially spontaneously explode with the screaming sound of potential demographics not just missed but actively pointing and laughing.

I will continue to rant unless I stop there!! More of this Iconoclastic genius. If Chris Brown attempts the same thing might I suggest Tyson does his own ‘fan’ film about how to treat a lady beater instead of letting Bieber appear in a video with him….

… okay I’ll stop…. Enjoy the video!!

Star Wars Trilogy: The Radio Show featuring Pinky / Christopher Walken / Bender

Ever wondered what Star Wars would’ve been like if Bubbles from the Powerpuff girls played Darth Vader? Well now you can. In an inspirational moment of genius at the Emerald City Comicon this year the organisers arranged a script reading of scenes from the original Star Wars script in voices of famous cartoon characters. The intros alone take about 6:45 seconds so scroll on to avoid any major spoilers. It’s not the Goon show or anything but a favourite moment is Pinky as the Storm Trooper on the Tantive IV and Christopher Walken as R2D2. A genuine joy to hear.

Enjoy!!