Moon’s Alternative Olympics: Crazy Mishaps!!

7 years ago, in a moment of significant success that united the nation in a day of celebration, we beat the French to something they really wanted and secured the Olympics. When the streamers had fallen to the ground we realised we’d just signed up to the biggest economic, transportational, security and cultural nightmare in the world. Any city in the world would succeed in that time surely – however at the time we were still trying to finish Wembley – and that was half a decade late – the equivalent of deciding to redevelop your entire house having failed to finish the bathroom. However, undeterred by bombs, riots and the biggest recession to hit since the 30s, the proud… um… Polish and Australian contractors of London got the work done. To incredible results as seen in the mind blowing opening ceremony that even the most curmudgeonly Daily Mail reader had to concede was a success. Let it all begin – Jeremy Hunt – take it away….

Unabated, we rolled on – only to allow a GCSE student who picked history to be in charge of the Flag machine for the North Korea football match, showing them their greatest enemies flag instead of their own!! Nothing makes you want to watch an Olympics more than the impending potential of Nuclear War brought on by a work experience kid volunteering to press the flag button.

Then of course there was the opening ceremony in which a random volunteer opted to join the main procession and the Queen jumped out of a Helicopter (which put her in a really foul mood). 1200 Pigeons were incinerated in the all-consuming firework display launched at the end of the ceremony – though I can confirm you could see the fireworks on the underbelly of the imposing cloud cover that had descended on London after a divine week of sunshine.

One more for luck!!

Then of course there was Boris Johnson… trying to keep the party going. Trying to get himself down a zip line in Victoria park in front of a crowd of onlookers. His arrival at the end of the zip line delayed as he slid to an awkward halt. Like a baby polar bear covered in Union Jacks and an ill-fitting suit hanging from a washing line. There really is nothing more English…

In spite all of this and the absence of any discernable business for any major attractions in London because 1. They put on the biggest show in the world on 12 miles down the road and 2. They very clearly told everybody to stay at home in case the trains fell apart, it’s all going really well. This has abstractly caused many people to spend more time with their families and opened up loads of seat space on any London commute and we’re scoring some serious medals (read: beating the French). All things considered – so far it’s been a great Olympics!!

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Skyfall: New Trailer and that Olympic moment…

Bond is back – seemingly this time from the death – Mendes at the helm, creepy ass bad guy with a hair colour that doesn’t quite suit him (Javier Bardem, apparently moved on from being a lone pressure gun killer in No Country For Old Men to being MI6’s greatest nemesis to date).

Rumours of the scene, provided by Danny Boyle from excess footage left over from the Olympics, in which the Queen fly kicks a bad guy in the neck at Sandringham, does appear to have been left out of this trailer.

For those who missed it at the Olympic Opening Ceremony (you were one of the 2.3 Billion who missed it, eh?) here’s the quintessential moment in which two icons of the British Empire met for the first time and threw themselves out of a Helicopter….

Skyfall Trailer

It’s been a while since Bond was on our screen. While Casino Royale left everyone wanting more – it’s fair to say that the follow up cooled attitudes. The contrivance of a hotel filled with explosive gas as a finale for a Bond movie stretched things almost as far as the super car-bonnet surfing glacier space laser scene from Dire another Day. But this looks like cleaner, slicker, tougher stuff. Sam Mendes, director of comic adaptation Road to Perdition (featuring Daniel Craig) has a history of crisply shot violence and misunderstood masculinity. So nothing like this then.

Worth a look I’d say.

His Name is James Bond

 

Very much not safe for work but very very funny. Turns out that on reflection James Bond is a complete tool and so Youtuber Running Corners decided to make a song celebrating this. It has a definite Adam & Joe vibe to it, albeit with a lot more swearing.

Perhaps not surprisingly, this came to my attention via the twisted and brilliant Rob Carey. He has some new art on his blog and you should go look at it.

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Slightly more Goldeneye: 50 Years of James Bond on Blu-Ray

Goldeneye, Casino Royale, Dr No, The Spy Who Loved Me, The Living Daylights – James Bond has had more great movies than any other franchise. And now when he flips a car, runs over crocodiles, free falls off a snow cliff or sets fire to a sexually ambiguous hit man it’s going to look a little sharper. Because it’s now on Blu-ray!

This trailer reminds us all just how much fun Bond has been.

BTB Film: From Tangy Cheese With Love

This is another silly short that Paul and I made a few years ago as a viral for a certain corn based snack (other nachos are available). It’s pretty basic but it is the only film we’ve ever made that can be said to include Crisp Ninjas. I’ll start posting up some of the horror films over the next few weeks as there seems to be a fair bit of interest in them at the moment.

Off to lovely Margate now to see The Devil’s Fork get its first UK screening. It is cold so I shall take my splendid hat.

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